[Michelle King]

Signs, and seals in gold, the past day’s story…. beautiful line. I like the feel of this poem… the last line seems to change that though- maybe it’s the presence of the exclamation mark and maybe it’s just me.

The middle two stanzas seem to be describing the same time as the themes are overlapping. Are you going for chronological order here?

Overall- lovely piece.

[Michelle King]

Thanks for the feedback! I edited it a bit again…

Let me draw near to Thy bleeding side.

Let me touch the marks in Thy hands and feet.

Let me bear the cross of the crucified.

Let me give my life, as Thou hast for me.

Let me live this day, for Thee only, Lord.

Let me count earth’s glory but vanity.

Let my life for Thine be daily poured.

Let me give my life, as Thou hast for me.

[Michelle King]

I added a few more changes. I have think it’s finished… thoughts?

//

Let me draw near to Your bleeding side.

Let me touch the marks in Your hands and feet.

Let me bear the cross of the crucified.

Let me give my life, as You have for me.

Let me live this day, for Thee only, Lord.

Let me count earth’s gain only vanity.

Let me lose myself for Thine own accord.

Let me give my life, as You have for me.

[Michelle King]

Perhaps “taste the tree of life”… an allusion to “taste and see that the Lord is good”

[Michelle King]

I see what you mean about the line you pointed out, but I’m out of suggestions for it…sorry

Maybe change brought “the stuff” to something else… “the gifts” perhaps, but the line may be a little overused

Just a personal opinion… I don’t like lines 7 and 8. Lines 14 and 15 are some of my favorites though.

Instead of “God of gods”… “King of kings”?

[Michelle King]

Thanks for the suggestions… I added a few changes.

Let me draw near to Your bleeding side.

Let me touch the marks in Your hands and feet.

Let me bear the cross of the crucified.

Let me give my life, as You have for me.

Let me lose myself as I’m lost in You.

Let me count earth’s gain only vanity.

Let me love You more than my words can tell.

Let me give my life, as You have for me.

[Michelle King]

I’m not sure about the line “let me”… suggestions are welcome.

[Author]

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