Hello Richard, I know this is an old thread. I came across this setting again and was somewhat taken by the melody. I am wondering about the possibility of using this song and would like to hear if you have any further version of it. You can contact me directly at josiah@abcmailbox.net

I wrote this song for an upcoming wedding and set it to the traditional Irish tune, “Down by the Sally Gardens.” I would really like to have the last four lines in each verse sung in four part harmony but I can’t write music myself so I’m at a bit of an impass and wondered if there is anyone among the ranks of composers who would…

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Hello everyone, I am new to the workshop here.

Here is a hymn I composed recently for this Scripture text. I would be happy for any feedback you may have.

–Virgil

I’ve been enjoying this text recently and would be happy for feedback on this setting. This is the first I’ve delved into mixing M/m, is this a good representation of both?

This mp3 should match up better.

I’m new to posting on here, so we’ll see how this goes!

Not sure if this is a church hymn, or a Monday morning work hymn! Either way, feel free to help hammer the bugs out of it.

-Nathan H. Martin

Forsaken by His God, O awful place!
Come, darkness, cover earth as sunlight flees.
Hide, hide the Son, the cross. God turns His face
As through this agony He gifts man peace.

/
The Innocent has been condemned to death
And mocked and tortured, bearing all man’s shame.
He thirsts and seeks His God, then yields His breath
And takes away the sin that…

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I commissioned my brother in-law to write a text on the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. This is what he wrote.

Writing this was an enjoyable learning experience for me.

Any critiques or errors?

As a teacher of advanced theory I am always looking to gain insights on good melody and harmony structures.

I struggled with the text for verse 2, any suggestions for a less repetitive line that fits the rhythm structure would be welcome.

This could be sung as a stand alone chorus or with scripture reading.

Thanks to all of you for the feedback you’ve given!

I finally got around to doing a reworked version of Peace Is The Way. I changed it to 4/4 and did quite a bit of work on harmony and harmonic rhythm. Let me know what your thoughts are. Thanks!

I like the progression of thought in the first stanza. Second stanza “They’ll her’ld ” twists my tongue a little but as a hymn text that might not matter as much.

You really have done some work! It looks a lot better with some of those unresolved inversions cleaned up.

Here are a few things I noticed.

1. P5 in m.5-6 between bass and tenor. You could keep tenor on la since it passes through it fairly quickly.

2. M.7 feels a little confused because you go tonic, dominant, subdominant, then back to dominant.…

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After critique from another source here is a revised edition.

The song feels hard to sing, but I like the concept of using monophony to lead into it. I’m not sure what makes it hard to sing, but I think the harmonic rhythm and timing don’t feel intuitive.

‘Hosannah’ is typically spelled with two n‘s.

Overall, nice work. You have a fine skill at avoiding parallel intervals by inverting chords. ‘Corinthians’ is misspelled in the subtitle.

All following comments come from a bass’s perspective.

Basses will appreciate a slightly lower tessitura throughout this piece. Here are four places that could be modified to suit that goal:

1. In the…

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Thoughts?

Vincit Omnia Veritas

1: Some day the clouds will parted be

The King in state ride through.

The heavens then shall pass away

All things be made anew.

Before He came a little babe:

See star and angels rise.

When He returns as King of King

Behold the rifted skies!

2: Some day we’ll hear the trumpet’s sound

…

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Hi,

Here is a piece that I recently composed. I would be glad for some feedback on it.

I composed this hymn as an exercise in strengthening my compositional skills. The text was compiled by my brother in-law for this purpose. I am eager to hear some feedback on overall strength of the hymn. (voice leading, use of harmony etc..) Thank you!

Thanks so much for your thoughts! Much appreciated!

One other suggestion: stanza 2, lines 1 and 2 could read “They girded on the sword of truth, took up the shield of faith.” It would be natural syntax that way. But if you’re wishing to emphasize the sword of truth, there may be value in the original wording.

I like the flow in this revised version!

What do you think of this version?

The Highlands of Affliction

1: Out of the highlands of affliction

Comes many a soul ablaze

With visions of things as yet unseen,

Beyond earth’s hastening days.

2: So too from the bitt’rest of trials

May come the sweetest of songs,

As gold in the blazing furnace tried

By struggles…

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Hey Ben, I have a couple thoughts on this, they are very similar to Richards.

First, the timing.

I would suggest doing it in 4/4 time, like you mentioned. Try starting with 3 quarters as a pickup, and then your first full measure starts with the MI. Then maybe consider changing your half notes to dotted halves (battlefield should begin on…

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Any thoughts on this version?

I switched the verses per your suggestion, and fiddled around with the wording a bit here and there as well.

They Speak From the Grave

1: We hear the voice of those long passed

Beyond the realm of sight.

They labored up the mountain steeps

And faced the falling night.

2: The sword of truth they girded on.

Took up…

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I like the strength of the repeated ideas here. Also, you have a number of Scripture allusions which is great!

A few problem spots: the rhythm is not an exact rhythm, and stanzas 1 and 2 both seem to be one syllable short in the first line. Also, in stanza 4 there is a split verb phrase at the end of the first line and beginning of the…

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I like the theme of this piece, Rachel.

I suggest switching stanzas 3 and 4 for better flow, but it’s your choice.

In my opinion anyway the last verse goes quite nicely with the others!

A couple thoughts on the poetry angle; (Feel free to ignore them if they clash with your poetic preferences 🙂

-In verse 1 two lines end with the same word: believers.

– “the Comforter from Christ rained down” this line sounds a little odd to my ear. As does “who had been…

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1: Rejoice, rejoice the Lord our God

Reigns over earth and sea.

His hand upholds the worlds that are

And all that are to be.

2:In Him are life, and being found,

In Him our all in all.

In Him our glory and reward.

From Him life’s bounties fall.

3:Beyond the bourn of time and space,

Beyond earth’s fleeting days,

The just shall find a sure reward

Where…

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They Speak From the Grave

We hear the voice of those long passed

Beyond the realm of sight.

They trod the path which all must tread

And faced the falling night.

The sword of truth they girded on.

Took up the shield of faith.

Ahead the hosts of darkness grim;

At hand no resting place.

Today beyond the deathless grave

We hear their battle cry:

“Fight…

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