One other suggestion: stanza 2, lines 1 and 2 could read “They girded on the sword of truth, took up the shield of faith.” It would be natural syntax that way. But if you’re wishing to emphasize the sword of truth, there may be value in the original wording.
I like the flow in this revised version!
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This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by
Sherri Steiner.
