Yolanda, I like the thoughts here!
One thing that I did notice is that the number of syllables per line varies by stanza. Depending on the tune, it might not pose a problem, but if you give the text more work, I’d probably try to standardize that.
Another thing (and this might just be my personal taste) — the title focuses my mind on Jesus’ Name, and then the first line “Forgiven, free — this is the climax of our story” begins by looking at our redemption. I understand that you’re leading into the thought of Jesus being our redemption, but I wonder if you could somehow introduce your main thought in your first line instead of waiting until the third line to mention the Name of Jesus if that’s what you’re centering your ideas around? Just a thought…
Somehow the second line of the third stanza stands out to me; I really like that line! One thought in relation to Lynn’s comment on that first line in the third — maybe “May we who love His Name hold out His grace” to keep it on topic and rhythm?
