Menu Close

Reply To: Enigma

Home Workshop Forums Poem Critiques, Please Enigma Reply To: Enigma

#2567

Lynn Martin
Administrator

I like how this one asks questions like we find in Job. Overall, I think this will be very singable. However, the meter really does need to be more regular, if you’re going to find a tune for it.

The first stanza should be fine. The second stanza’s first line ends with an extra syllable–I would change “nothingness” to “nothing.” Also, its third line is shorter than the first stanza’s third line. The fourth stanza also has a shorter third line. If those were fixed, then a tune could be found or written for it.

Also, consider that the chorus will be repeated oftener than the verses, so it should be especially well-written and should stay on the theme. How does “I Am” and “Living Word” relate to his power in creation? It does, but the chorus doesn’t make it clear. Also, Almighty is a title, not a name. That maybe shouldn’t bother me, but it does a bit.

Just some thoughts.