This has a very choral sound while being congregationally singable, which I like. For me, the ending works, because it’s set up by the ending of the previous line, and the accidental there can be heard as a modulation, which sets up the IV to sound like the tonic. It also helps lead into the next verse.
The repetition in the melody throughout the verse might not be as interesting for some congregational singers. It also leans heavily on some leaps that are less common for sopranos. But it would be hard to know whether it would work or not without trying it out. The chorus, however, holds its own very well.
I like how you try out similar but different harmonies throughout.