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Discussion
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Replies
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In general, it sounds quite good to my ear, though m. 6-7 (especially beats 1 and 2 of m. 6) feel a bit weaker, particularly in the alto and tenor. I don’t have as much experience using chromaticism in a minor context however, and tend to be a sucker for natural minor, so take it with at least three grains of salt. I really do like the overall sound of the piece.
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Gary, I really like the harmonies in this piece!
Every time I sing the melody, I want to go up to the A on the last note of measure 4.
Personally, I think the weakest part of this hymn is measures 5 and 6. I like what you’ve done harmonically, but melodically it feels like it prevents the piece from having a very satisfying climax.
Overall I do really like this piece though!
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Thanks all for the feedback! I’m hoping to spend some time on this this weekend.
I just noticed the missing third in the last beat of measure one–that was a mistake. That could be solved by just changing the bass of that measure to d, d, e, f. That’s probably the solution I’ll go with (although I kind of like the d being held with the dominant harmony above).
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So I have two new drafts of this piece. Draft two is a drastic rewrite which has some things I like, but I feel it loses the appropriate penitential character and cohesion of the original. Draft three only has a few minor changes and corrections from the original draft, and seems the most successful to me of the three.
Lyndon, thanks for the suggestion regarding the melody going up to A–I think I like that better than what I had.
I’d love to hear feedback as to which of these drafts you guys prefer!
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I think this is what I am settling on. Thanks again for everyone’s input!
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