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Discussion
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Here is a newly composed short song. The harmonics is m10-11 are an attempt at text painting. LIGHT changes you. I’m currently composing a collection of short, meditative pieces with texts taken from the “I am” statements of Jesus. I welcome feedback.
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This discussion was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
Ryan Kimberlin.
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This discussion was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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Replies
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Hi Ryan, I really like this!
A couple things that I thought of:
I believe the only parallel fifths and eights are in two places. The first one is in measure 1 on the words “I am” between alto and bass. the second one is in measures 10 and 11 on the words “of life” between alto, tenor and bass. These don’t bother me on the recording, but I don’t think it be very hard to avoid this if you want to.
I would probably bring tenor down to the do on measure 2, beat 4 to avoid doubling the third of the chord. There is a similar occurrence in measure 12 on the word “the”.
I would also try to make the first “I am the Light” the same as the last one in measures 11 and 12 for consistency sake.
Nice work! it has a really nice flow to it.
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Very nice and singable. I really like the harmonic direction. The piece has a lot of character.
The vowel in “World” is such that an extended upward slur on it could be a bit painful to hear, depending on the congregation.
The accents in the word “darkness” don’t line up with the beats, which will make it a bit more awkward.
I think I like the chromatics, but am not quite sure I like how they resolve. Could they resolve into another key so that they sound more like a natural part of the progression than just a moment of color? I recognize that that could be hard to do.
Otherwise, I really like it!
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