• Creator
  • #2477

    Rachel Kaufmann

    This was written to fit the tune Good King Wencelas. Any thoughts?


    1:On that night so long ago

    Angel choirs were singing.

    Hear the message of God’s love

    That they then were bringing.

    “Glory be to God on high.”

    “Peace, goodwill to all men!”

    Heav’nly glory shone around

    Shepherds heard it then.

    2:Those who long in darkness walked

    See the dawn is breaking.

    Lift your eyes ye prisoners

    Heaven’s armies waking.

    See the King in triumph come,

    Hear the trumpet sounding.

    Lift your voices now and sing.

    Echo hills surrounding!

    3:Glory be to God on high

    Praise and glory ever!

    Broken is the power of death,

    Chains of sin now severed.

    Give ye praise to God most high.

    Sing His praises ever.

    He who came to dwell with man

    Reigneth King forever!

  • Author
  • #2500

    Lynn Martin

    Nice poem, Rachel! I think it fits the tune really well.

    • The last line of the first stanza doesn’t fit well with the tune. That’s because it needs to end with a feminine rhyme (something to rhyme with “ALL men” and not just “men”) and otherwise it doesn’t fit the rhythm of the tune.
    • I think the second stanza is the best of the three. The ideas and the rhythms flow really well.
    • I would suggest not using the same “ever” rhyme the whole way throughout the third stanza. It can start sounding a bit overdone.
    • The first and second lines of the third stanza are basically repeated in the fifth and sixth lines. I would try to find a different idea that builds on the same idea rather than repeating it.
  • #2508

    Thanks for the pointers!

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