This feels really good and solid to me. Looks quite singable and I think a congregation would enjoy it.
To my ear, the harmony at “Father but by” feels a bit unstable and tenuous. That may be because the first chord is an inversion, and the second and third are “clustery” chords. They follow a very standard, stable harmonization, but depart from it starting on a downbeat, so it feels a bit aimless until it gets to “by me.” I think it’s singable, but it will probably not want to tune.
That’s all I can see that I’d suggest looking deeper into.
