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Benjamin Burkholder
I really like this piece, and I think the mood of the music fits the text well. There are a couple of places that I noticed some harmony things, like in the last two measures of the second line. the passing notes in alto and bass create a dissonance that felt a little out of place to my ear. (I also felt a bit the same about the first chord in m. 2 on “eve”.) and in the last measure of the second line, my ear wants to hear a V chord. In the second measure of the third line, I would personally give altos a mi instead of the fa on the word “and”. on the last line, i was unsure of the ii chord in the second measure of the last line on the word “the”. then the final major chord makes me want to repeat that last two lines, (which would be amazing) but it doesn’t feel super final. maybe just putting a I chord in would be helpful.
Good work, though. I really like the way this piece plays. and the climax in the third line is so beautiful!