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Good words, Lynn and Lyndon! Another thought I’ll throw in — every measure has three syllables in four beats, set up 2+1+1. I’m wondering whether setting it in 3 might help it flow better. It feels like it takes a good bit of time, though I grant that the opening text does lend itself to that.

I do think the melody sings easily and is winsome, though I agree with the above sentiments concerning the need for more coherence (repetition).