I’ve been enjoying this text recently and would be happy for feedback on this setting. This is the first I’ve delved into mixing M/m, is this a good representation of both?

I commissioned my brother in-law to write a text on the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. This is what he wrote.

Writing this was an enjoyable learning experience for me.

Any critiques or errors?

As a teacher of advanced theory I am always looking to gain insights on good melody and harmony structures.

I struggled with the text for verse 2, any suggestions for a less repetitive line that fits the rhythm structure would be welcome.

This could be sung as a stand alone chorus or with scripture reading.

After critique from another source here is a revised edition.

I composed this hymn as an exercise in strengthening my compositional skills. The text was compiled by my brother in-law for this purpose. I am eager to hear some feedback on overall strength of the hymn. (voice leading, use of harmony etc..) Thank you!